You're just mommin', surviving, and it feels like the whole world is against you for what seems like an eternity of a day.
Kids don't listen to a WORD.
Pets and animals are a pain in the butt. Our best furbaby Beau rolls in something and the stink makes me want to vomit.
Love my husband to death ya'll, but lets be real, it's time for him to get back to work - at least a few days a week!
Bills just keep rolling in..
Dinner? Ugh...grilled cheese and chicken nuggets are filling my kiddos up for the moment.
Do I even dare mention the cleaning of the house? Or Laundry? That's just a constant reminder of my ultimate procrastination.
All the things that make up your average home , right?!
But let's talk about how that all actually sits on mom's shoulders, and builds and builds. And sometimes we turn it into what some might call anxiety.
anxiety [aNGˈzīədē] NOUN a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
Sometimes it's a crippling depression. For some, including myself, it's a little bit of both. It's a battle of whether I should clean the house and do laundry or leave it and go play with the kids? Every. Single. Day.
And what makes my days differ? What makes my days or weeks better than any others?
It's definitely not my dogs...I know they aren't doing it because they're mad at me?? The kids are just kids. Learning, exploring and testing the boundaries. They do not do it to "get mom mad". My husband gets in the way or pushes my buttons, but at least he is home WITH me. What I'm getting at here is that it's ME. It all boils down to me. I am the one that cares if the dishes are done or not. I am the one that cares if the house is picked up. I am the one feeling guilty for doing too much housework and not enough school or vice versa! I am the one anxious that my to do list is only growing. I'm fearful of the future. I'm afraid I'm not good enough. I am the one with a bad attitude making all of these things feel like a burden and too busy worrying!!
When instead, I should be basking in God's glory! All I ever prayed for is happening....right now in these everyday moments!!! And that's when the switch happened for me. Turning my complaints, my anger, my fears, my weaknesses, I turned them into the things I am everSO GRATEFUL for!! This is my real life. The exact things I am so TIRED of, flat out exhausted...are the e x a c t things I am forever grateful to have. No matter how long my day seemed, how many times I said "no" that day, or what we ate for dinner, I am grateful.
I think we all get to choose how we are grateful each day and my definition of gratefulness is proving to my mind and my subconscious mind that I am grateful every single day and that no matter what evil schemes the enemy wants to play on me, it will not win.
I will. Because I am so unbelievably blessed. I am bigger and stronger. And older. ;)
When I say I found my gratefulness, what I think would make more sense, is that I started actually working on my mindset. As far as I am concerned, mindset work for people battling post-partum is absolutely vital. Heck, I think everyone could benefit in one way or another! But right now, for mama bears!
Getting my mind in the right place every morning and night is how and when I choose the outcome of my day. I choose to go to bed praying and listening to a gratefulness meditation. {The app that I use to meditate is Insight Timer! It's free! I like free!} I choose to wake up in the morning and read my affirmations. I choose to run away to the bathroom to do a facial mask a few nights a week. (And sneak into my bathroom stash of candy while I'm there!) I choose to make this time for myself. I know what happens when I don't and I now know my worth, I owe it to my kids to be the best mom I can possibly be.
So if the days are long and your inner struggle has got you down, my prayer for you is that you continue to fight the fight and find your gratefulness! Look back through God's goodness in your life.
Here is something small to help get you started. Say it until you believe it!
I am in charge of my life. I embrace every facet of who I am. I am whole, I am fulfilled and at peace. I am good enough. I believe in myself and my abilities. I radiate joy and peace. I have one life to live and I choose to live it to the fullest of my potential.
You deserve it. You are strong. You are capable.
Be your truest self, let your light shine. Tomorrow is a new day, mama.
Sending Bear Hugs,xx
Morgan
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